Friday, January 30, 2015

Love birds

Sweet summer melodies
Fresh gush of wind
They fluttered their way
Through colorful flower beds

He looked into her eyes
He said, "You're mine",
They were swept away
Into the silent symphony

"Nothing else exists
But you and me to infinity"
She was blinded by love
Too intense, too deep

She kept up with the speed
She led herself to believe
This roller coaster of tears
Was worth being strapped in

When the violent storm hit
They fell through
What they once thought was love
Was but branded mockery

Here she is
With a broken wing
Picking up her feathers
Muted screams

What once was
Is now in ashes
A glorified romance
Of combustible loyalty

He said, "You're mine,
You and me to infinity",
To another and many others
The same song, the same speech

Yesterday they choked
Yesterday they cried
Without each other
They didn't feel alive

Today she chokes
Today she cries
He's with another
More than just alive

With broken wings,
She awaits departure
To the moment of surrender
But never back to him

Hidden deep within
In her fortress of mistrust
She refuses to let anyone in
Until she heals

Tuesday, January 27, 2015


Random thoughts have been floating in my mind endlessly.  It's been a while since I've penned down my thoughts. Guess it's about time.
I'm in that phase of life where I feel like a little rose bud again. Either waiting to bloom or waiting to shrivel in the heat. Can't seem to decide which one. But everything feels like I'm back to scratch. Even though in different areas of life I've catapulted, my core being is questioning everything around me. I'm still right where I was nine years ago. So much has changed yet so little has changed since then. What is change though?
I had this interesting conversation with a friend. He said he lives in his past. He's not who he was last year. He's not who he was last week. He's not what he was an hour ago. It's the memories of the past that keep him going. But what about the present?
It got me thinking that everything changes. Every single second, every single minute, everything is changing. We as humans are always evolving. We're not who we were about a minute ago. We've changed, we've grown. But what really changes? So much happens just within a minute. Take a step back and observe. Observe how your life could change. How your emotions could change. How your decisions could change. All in less than a minute. And yet your core remains the same.
In this whole process of being happy and living in the present, we're just creating memories for the past and possibly for the future. But is it possible to truly be happy in the present. Without lamenting over the past or worrying about the future? Is it possible to accept any and every change we go through completely in the present? Is it possible to just be an observer and allow life to happen to you?
We're always trying to control everything about our lives. What is life really about? Controlling and creating exactly what you want or accepting the inevitable and allowing destiny to play it's part? Probably both.
However, while this busy process is going on, allow your core to be authentic. Let your soul be wild, pure and free. Accept yourself. It's Ok to be that scared little kid who has no idea what's going on, its Ok to be vulnerable and it's ok to admit that sometimes we just want someone who will hug us, hold us tight, look us in the eye, and say, "This is life, and it's going to go on, faster than you'd like to admit. But I'll be right here. Always."
P.s- It's more than Ok to say this to yourself. Try it.

Friday, January 18, 2013

A Momentary Escape

Swinging under the star lit skies,
I look down on my feathers glistening in the light,
A silent breeze whispers in my ear,
The sweet melody of all these years

Just for a while can I break free,
Just for a moment can I fly away,
Not turn back and lose myself,
In the silent colours of the night

Just for a while let me breathe,
The kind of air that brings mystery,
A fleeting blast of fresh bliss,
Just for a moment let me feel

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Old me and the Sea

I've managed to draw something after a very very long time (more like years) and I'm not very proud of it but at least its a start. 
I recently read the book 'Old man and the Sea' by Earnest Hemingway, his final  work published during his lifetime. It is a fantastic book with some great messages. It teaches you some incredible things. My favourite quote from the book is "Man is not made for defeat...a man can be destroyed but not defeated". [Further reading here] Inspired by the book I decided to pick up my dry pastels and fill a sheet with something that makes sense to me. The result is displayed below. 

Definitely not even close to one of my best works but this is one thing that I made purely out of inspiration and not just something I did at art class. Or maybe it's more of an inspiration to inspire me. So for anyone who wants to understand, it's basically  a pair of hands pulling out a bright soul from the black sea with the help of a fishing rod. Kind of representing my state right now where I am trying to find my soul or my core. Things that I have lost in the past couple of years, my lost talents - dance, art, etc, new talents that I always wanted to develop but for some reason didn't go through with, and anything at all that made me happy or made me ME. In the name of work, I left myself somewhere behind. I've decided not to move forward unless I know who I am and what I want. 
Maybe posting these thoughts on the web might be considered a bit absurd, but everybody's got a kind of a coping mechanism I guess. 

Another quote I recently fell in love with was from the movie Hugo - "So I figured if the whole world was one big machine, I couldn't be an extra part, I had to be here for some reason, and that means you have to be here for some reason too."

Till next time.

P.s - Its my blog after-all. I'm going to post what I want. 

Thursday, November 1, 2012

Rediscovering my city

Recently I was asked to show some friends from France around Mumbai. Turns out I know as much as they do about my own city, or even lesser. I spoke to a lot of my local friends asking for tips on where to take them and apart from restaurants or bars nobody had any concrete suggestions. So I asked myself, does living in a city since birth actually make you a stranger to your own city? Or have we become so lazy or engrossed in our life, work, commitments etc that we have no time or inclination for discovering our own birthplace? So, I set off to discover Mumbai from a tourist's eye and actually witness the living city.
The Pastry Walla - In all my years in Mumbai, this is the first time I have actually seen pastries sold in a tin box!

Ban Ganga - Apparently this is the holy water from the river Ganges and every year in Feb, they celebrate the Ban Ganga festival where people from all over come here to bathe in the holy water and purify their lives. 

Chai Walla

Booty Call - interesting saree patterns and drapes, something we locals always tend to overlook or refuse to observe

Other random clicks at Dhobi Ghat:

When the French got a taste of India: (A typical religious procession in Mumbai)

   I also happened to visit INS Vikrant, Indian Navy's first aircraft carrier ship. Something to be proud of. There is so much more to this city than just restaurants. Turns out Mumbai is indeed a charming city, and not just a busy commercial hub. We hopped onto a cab and took a ride around the Bombay High Court, Mumbai University(Gothic architecture), Oval Maidan, Azad Maidan, CST station (the only functional UNESCO World Heritage Site), the BMC building. Now these are places I pass by almost every day but have never stop to take in their magnificence. 

I've made a list of places I plan to visit in the near future: 
  • Jehangir Art Gallery - They've just completed 60 years and are hosting a variety of events currently. For further details check here
  • Prince of Wales Museum - Look at the size of that thing. 
  • Mani Bhavan - Gandhi's museum. Even Obama visited this place on his trip to India in 2010. Shame on me!
  • Asiatic library - getting myself a membership here. 
I came across this link for anyone interested in further reading about Mumbai. 

Other interesting places for tourists or locals are: 
  • Bhau Daji Lad Museum
  • Catching a play or just hanging in the cafe of Prithvi Theatre
  • Walking or sitting at the Queen's necklace
  • Colaba Causeway and Gateway of India, get a coffee at the Taj and maybe dinner at Ayubs
So, that's that. I'll see you around. 

Sunday, October 21, 2012


Hello there!

Warning: Please scroll down to TLTR section below if you wish to skip this long long post.

It's been a long long time since I've visited my own blog. It's like finding an ancient hidden treasure. Stating how busy I've been would indeed be an attempted failure at trying to prove how I wanted to update but couldn't. Honestly, last one year had been rather crazy and I didn't care much about anything other than my work. I almost turned into a work-o-holic. It has done no good to me, my body, or my mind. I've recently quit my job and decided to withdraw from this rat race of trying to earn money and trying to prove myself to the world. I could be suffering from quarter life crisis (which by the way is a very real thing). I am 23 and I'd rather figure myself now, while I have the option to quit jobs, try new jobs, switch careers, etc,  than later.
I'm going to be treating this blog more like a personal space of thoughts, ideas, inspiration, more like a digital diary. I am hoping to achieve that inner peace or spiritual connection to one's soul, or something on similar lines by penning down my daily thoughts and actions. At this stage in life, in my current situation, I feel like a new born baby again. Like I need to re-discover and learn a lot of things, about life, about everything on this planet. Last couple of years of my life have been concentrated only on clothes, shoes, accessories and fashion. There is so much more to life, so much more knowledge just floating out there for all of us to absorb. I gave up a throbbing career in a very popular fashion magazine, in order to re-discover myself, my passions, study, and understand, just understand how the world works. Sure, working in the fashion industry at a good position is exciting, glamorous and fun. You get all the freebies, invites to the best shows, parties, meeting people from different backgrounds, and of course nothing is more satisfying than seeing your name in print. But eventually, in my last few year of work experience I gained 10 kgs, lost a lot of hair, had dreams that my teeth were falling every second day (which is apparently a sign of stress), got involved in unnecessary office politics which in turn led to my work suffering, had no time for a personal life and eventually lost interest in every single thing, including living itself. I drowned myself in alcohol to lift me up and questioned the point of life everyday. As a stylist you are constantly working. Taking a break is not an option. This definitely was my dream job but it took a toll on me. I, unfortunately, lost myself in the process. I don't know who I am anymore, I don't have any favourites, I don't dance, paint or travel. I stopped doing all those things which made me happy. I don't entirely blame this on the job, maybe somewhere I failed at balancing out my life.
I am familiar with the phrase - "jack of all trades, master of none", and surely many would agree that you pick one thing and build your career out of it, your life is driven in that one direction only. Kudos if you have actually managed that and are completely satisfied with your lives. But personally, I feel like it is essential to have knowledge about every possible topic. You are on this planet for a short while, might as well digest everything it has to offer.
I do still always want good clothes, good shoes, good accessories etc etc and I will obviously never give up fashion altogether and not bother etc, maybe take it down a few notches, relax and concentrate on other things for a while. But I am considering this time off only as a period of awareness - generally, spiritually, scientifically, even economically. Let's hope this little initiative helps me get through the quarter life crisis.

TLTR (Too long to read): So, basically, I quit my job, took off to Europe for a month, and starting today, I have promised myself I'm going to be learning at least one new thing everyday. The more knowledge I have the better I will get at figuring myself out. Let's hope this works.

Saturday, January 21, 2012

The Mirror

The vacuum, the soundlessness
He stares into emptiness
The world zaps by
Autumn leaf nailed to her wrist

She screams at the haunted play
A pitiful silence he must embrace
Lost in oblivion, a futile attempt
She turns to The Holy Book in vain

“Who, where, why, what”, she demands
A screeching knock,
“Breathe”, the still implication, “Await the final purpose”
Fathoms hollow melody