Hello there!
Warning: Please scroll down to TLTR section below if you wish to skip this long long post.
It's been a long long time since I've visited my own blog. It's like finding an ancient hidden treasure. Stating how busy I've been would indeed be an attempted failure at trying to prove how I wanted to update but couldn't. Honestly, last one year had been rather crazy and I didn't care much about anything other than my work. I almost turned into a work-o-holic. It has done no good to me, my body, or my mind. I've recently quit my job and decided to withdraw from this rat race of trying to earn money and trying to prove myself to the world. I could be suffering from quarter life crisis (which by the way is a very real thing). I am 23 and I'd rather figure myself now, while I have the option to quit jobs, try new jobs, switch careers, etc, than later.
I'm going to be treating this blog more like a personal space of thoughts, ideas, inspiration, more like a digital diary. I am hoping to achieve that inner peace or spiritual connection to one's soul, or something on similar lines by penning down my daily thoughts and actions. At this stage in life, in my current situation, I feel like a new born baby again. Like I need to re-discover and learn a lot of things, about life, about everything on this planet. Last couple of years of my life have been concentrated only on clothes, shoes, accessories and fashion. There is so much more to life, so much more knowledge just floating out there for all of us to absorb. I gave up a throbbing career in a very popular fashion magazine, in order to re-discover myself, my passions, study, and understand, just understand how the world works. Sure, working in the fashion industry at a good position is exciting, glamorous and fun. You get all the freebies, invites to the best shows, parties, meeting people from different backgrounds, and of course nothing is more satisfying than seeing your name in print. But eventually, in my last few year of work experience I gained 10 kgs, lost a lot of hair, had dreams that my teeth were falling every second day (which is apparently a sign of stress), got involved in unnecessary office politics which in turn led to my work suffering, had no time for a personal life and eventually lost interest in every single thing, including living itself. I drowned myself in alcohol to lift me up and questioned the point of life everyday. As a stylist you are constantly working. Taking a break is not an option. This definitely was my dream job but it took a toll on me. I, unfortunately, lost myself in the process. I don't know who I am anymore, I don't have any favourites, I don't dance, paint or travel. I stopped doing all those things which made me happy. I don't entirely blame this on the job, maybe somewhere I failed at balancing out my life.
I am familiar with the phrase - "jack of all trades, master of none", and surely many would agree that you pick one thing and build your career out of it, your life is driven in that one direction only. Kudos if you have actually managed that and are completely satisfied with your lives. But personally, I feel like it is essential to have knowledge about every possible topic. You are on this planet for a short while, might as well digest everything it has to offer.
I do still always want good clothes, good shoes, good accessories etc etc and I will obviously never give up fashion altogether and not bother etc, maybe take it down a few notches, relax and concentrate on other things for a while. But I am considering this time off only as a period of awareness - generally, spiritually, scientifically, even economically. Let's hope this little initiative helps me get through the quarter life crisis.
TLTR (Too long to read): So, basically, I quit my job, took off to Europe for a month, and starting today, I have promised myself I'm going to be learning at least one new thing everyday. The more knowledge I have the better I will get at figuring myself out. Let's hope this works.
